The Call

I'M GOING TO PERU!!! It happened - my mission call came. I opened it and cried and gave a lot of people a lot of hugs and called one thousand people and took pictures and cried some more and celebrated and danced and looked at pictures and cried a little bit more. It's official: they're sending me to Peru. What in the world? Peru. The Peru Lima East Mission, where I'll be called Hermana Scott and be surrounded by cute, short little Peruvians. As excited as I am to go, I'm scared out of my mind. I don't think I've ever been more simultaneously excited and nervous for something in my life. It's weird to think that I just finished my freshman year, and the next adventure that awaits me is very far away from Centennial, Colorado or Provo, Utah - about 5,000 miles away, to be exact. I don't report until July 31st, so I have 3 months here. Some days, it feels so far away. Other days, it seems like 93 (days) is the smallest number in the world.

·  ·  ·

"What I need are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world. So...I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally until the day in which they will do to you exactly what they did to me." 

This is my calling. This is what I am supposed to do. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, with the mission and purpose to change Lima, Peru by bringing those people to Him. Not just those sweet Peruvians, but the entire world. That is what I signed up for; that is what I'm here to do. Change the world by telling them the Good News of Jesus Christ.

I think I can do that.

Waiting

Waiting isn't usually the greatest. Unfortunately, I make people wait for me a lot, because I'm sometimes late to things. (Or - I'm late to everything. Almost.)  I justify being late by saying "Oh, it's just a couple of minutes." But if we're being honest, nobody actually likes to wait on someone. Or something. People do it because they're patient or because they have to, but it does not mean that waiting is fun.

Today, I am waiting. I am waiting for the biggest thing that has happened in my life thus far. My mission call is in the mail - or so I think/REALLY hope. I can't even handle it anymore. I am sitting in the library, trying to study, and getting no where. I've managed to get a few things done, but I am literally bouncing in my seat, looking at my phone obsessively, checking to see if "that call that tells all" has come yet. But alas, nothing Not yet.

Please oh please oh please oh please oh please let it come today.

Welcome, Welcome

Today was so wonderful. I think I could say that about every single Sunday, but today was just particularly great for me. All of the talks that were given during Sacrament meeting just spoke straight to my heart, and I learned so much. Just to sum up the greatness that I heard today --

Chrysta Despain talked about the importance of being a strong link in our chain of family history; being able to connect our ancestors to our posterity. I love the thought that I can be that link - that someday, my whole family can be connected in the gospel through me. It's a crazy thing to think about.

Jake Uibel talked about the importance of work. Work, no matter how hard or annoying it may be, is essential in God's plan for us. He made a really great analogy about working hard and earning the things we get out of this life versus just cruising through: we can either climb mountains, struggle through life, and see our great success when we reach the top, or we can cruise through life on an elevator, get to the top and realize that there was no great success or triumph in our journey. I thought that was a really interesting way of looking at it. My favorite part of his talk was when he said, "As we become more like Heavenly Father, our work becomes His." 

Maggie Paris talked about personal responsibility. She said, "We are accountable for what we make of our lives." It is so true. We have the ability to choose exactly what we do with our lives, how we do it, and why we do it. She talked about the importance of setting high standards for yourself and for those around you, and being responsible in order to have a better chance of actually sticking to those standards. I also loved when she quoted the "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet and said that "righteous choices lead to lasting happiness." Being a college student about to leave on a mission, I realize the importance of responsibility. I loved this talk because it's something that I really need to work on.

And Colter Stewart talked about how the Mormon church will save the world. I thought it was cheesy at first, but as he started to talk about it, it really meant a lot to me. If we have the truth, of course we want to share it. We want everyone to know all about Jesus Christ and what He did for us; we want everyone to know that there truly is a way that we can return to live with God. That's the whole purpose of missionary work. If we expect people to listen to our message, though, we have to be the kind of people that the world wants to listen to. He read 1 John 4:20, which says "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" How true is that? He said, "If we don't love others, how can we call ourselves disciples of Christ?" If we are to save the world, we have to start by simply being nice. Food for thought. I really enjoyed that talk.

The rest of church was so great as well. I think it is truly amazing that here at BYU (almost) everything in our ward is run by us, the students. We, who still have so much to learn and certainly don't know much about running a church, are expected to come to church each week and do everything necessary to make everything run smoothly and correctly. It's just a testimony to me that the Lord loves us - if he didn't, he wouldn't give us such a great responsibility as the youth of the church. I am constantly amazed by the faithfulness and the testimonies of the wonderful people in my ward. Being with them every week just builds me up so much. I am going to miss them like crazy when this all comes to an end in a few short weeks.

After lunch, Emma, Cecily, and I walked up to the temple because all of the missionaries in the MTC go there on Sundays. Emma's cousin Shelby is there, and so are Michael and Jacob, so we thought we'd go up and see if we could run into them. We saw Michael - he looked so happy. Honestly the happiest I've ever seen him, which is saying a lot because he is usually a pretty chipper fellow. He was actually skipping down the sidewalk with a big, goofy grin on his face when we first saw him. When he was talking to us, he just glowed with happiness and the Spirit. He even bore his testimony to us in Spanish! (Which is truly amazing - he's never spoken Spanish and has been in the MTC for 4 days now.) I could tell that he already loves being a missionary. That boy is going to do such great things. We didn't see Jacob, though. But we did see Shelby, and just like Michael she looked so happy. She just seems so ready to get out and preach the gospel. She only has seven days left, then she's off to Chile! I can't wait for her to get out there. She will be such an amazing missionary as well.

This day was just so wonderful. I can't say it enough. The spirit just makes you happy, and I feel that a lot up here. I love being here. I just love it.

We sang a beautiful hymn to close sacrament meeting today, and I just wanted to share one of the verses, because I think it really stuck out to me:

Israel, angles are descending 

From celestial worlds on high

And to man their pow'r extending

That the Saints may homeward fly.

Come to Zion, come to Zion,

For your Lord is coming nigh.

Come to Zion, come to Zion,

For your Lord is coming nigh.

Life is good. My mission call comes in four days. The semester is almost over (good and bad). I'm doing well in school. I have great friends. Spring is here. I'm happy.

It's 1:51 a.m., so...goodnight!

Daddy

I really miss my dad. Sometimes, when something crappy happens or if I just want to cry, I just wish that I could give my dad a big hug. He's a big guy, and his big hugs are the best. Right now, I could use a big hug from my daddy.

When I was little, he used to call me Princess, and I loved it so much. It was my favorite thing. That's one nickname I've had that's lasted for my whole life - he still calls me Princess every now and then, and it still just seems so natural. It's so sweet and I love it more than I can explain. 

My dad is the world's biggest fan of classic rock and everything from that era. He listens to it all the time - Queen, Lynard Skynard, REO Speedwagon, Meat Loaf, ACDC, Rush, Bruce Springsteen, Blue Oyster Cult, Bon Jovi, Boston, and so many others. That's all I listened to when I was growing up. Some of my favorite memories are of me and my dad singing the song "Riding the Storm Out" by REO Speedwagon. That's the first song I remember actually knowing the words to, and I loved singing it with him whenever he played it.

He has gotten so much better. This sad, beaten-down man that I've always known is beginning to smile more and laugh - really laugh at things. He's not as angry as he used to be. He likes to be around people a little bit more than he used to. He is still praying to find God; to find out if he's really there and figure out what he's all about. He is sober, and has been since the middle of January. Now, I realize that two months is not a super long time, but it's long enough to prove to me that he really does want to change. I admire him so much for that. He's told me that he knows he has messed a lot of things up, but that he's ready to fix them. One year ago, these changes he's made were things I prayed for, but had no idea for sure if they would ever happen. But they're happening. I just can't wait to see what happens with this funny man that I love so much. I just hope he finds God soon. Then that way, he'll really be able to see the blessings that will come while I'm on my mission. Not only that, but his life will be so much better. I know he'll figure it out. He's a smart guy.

I love him. That's really all there is to it. 

Just so the world knows, he's my daddy forever. None of this "dad" stuff that big kids say these days. He'll always just be my daddy. And that's all I really need.

Blessed Sunshine

Today was full. The kind of full that makes you feel good - not the kind that leaves you feeling uncomfortable. The best kind of full there is.

Today, Michael entered the MTC. I thought I had it together, because I feel like I've already said goodbye to him so many different times. At first, it didn't seem any different from those other times I've said goodbye - those times, I sort of knew I'd see him again. This time, though, I realized as I was saying the words "Goodbye Elder Johnson" that this was it. This goodbye was the real one. I couldn't even say it without crying, and I literally ran away because I had started crying so hard. I sat in my psychology class after that, silently wiping away my tears and not even really pretending to listen. 

But, then I realized something really important. Yes, I'm going to miss Michael like crazy. I'll miss Emma and Cecily and Tyler and Tori and Wesley and Chrysta and Rhett and Connor and Kiersten and Taylor and Allison and Alex and Van and MJ and Daniel and Billy and Sammi and Bobby and Nick and Will and Jake and so many others while they're away on their missions and I'm away on mine. But as sad as it is to see him go, and eventually all of the others, it's all for a reason so much greater than those little holes in my heart. Missionaries have a mission, believe it or not. There's a reason we're all going out to serve the Lord. And that's why we all signed up for it.

Life just goes on, I guess. I get really used to having certain people around; living in the way that's most comfortable at the time. For example, calling Michael three times (at least) a week, and telling him all about my lame college life. Or staying up late, watching movies and having sleepovers with my best pals. These things will come to an end pretty soon, here. And pretty soon, I'll be preaching the gospel all day long and going to bed at 10:30 every single night. And waking up at 6:30 every single morning. Yes, things will certainly be changing.

But for now, I've decided that I'm going to enjoy the time I have left here in Provo. Today was an absolutely beautiful fifty-five-degree day, and I think I did a fair job of enjoying the sunshine. We played outside for so long tonight, passing a football and a soccer ball, running around and just having a good time. Those are the moments I live for - when things aren't perfect, but in that moment you're happy and having fun and the world just stands still for a little bit and lets you have the time of your life. 

The sunshine, the fun classes, the productivity, the heart-felt goodbye, the time spent with good friends made my day full. I'm pretty happy right now. Actually, I'm really happy right now. There's so much good in my life, and every day I'm thankful to be where I am.

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Also -

Another thing that makes life so great is country music. I thought I'd share my current obsession, partly in honor of Michael, because I know he likes country music, and partly because I just think everyone in the world should listen to it and be obsessed with it too. I'm in love with this song and the video that goes with it. It's been stuck in my head for a few days now. It makes me think of summer, and life, and missed opportunities, and cute boys in jeeps. What's better, really?

One Step Closer

I did it.

I submitted my mission papers. Today. Tonight. 5 hours ago. They're in; there's no turning back now. I'm going to be a missionary. A real missionary. One who wears a name tag and carries extra Books of Mormon and talks to every person they see and rides a bike and wears ankle-length skirts and only communicates to the outside world via letters. That's going to be me.

Today, I spent a lot of time reading my old blogs, looking at pictures, and thinking about my life and how much I have changed over the past few years. I feel like I've been doing this a lot lately. My freshman year of college is coming to an end, and I'm about to leave on one of the grandest adventures of my entire life. It's fun for me to look back at things I used to talk about and worry about, and I especially love observing the fact that my nerdiness was just as prominent back then as it is today. One thing I stumbled upon today that made me laugh out loud was the description box on my oldest blog, one I've had since I was a freshman in high school. About myself, I said: "My name is Michelle. I like to play outside and look for shooting stars. I'm a windows-down music-blasting kind of girl, and someday I will live in Texas - but first, my destination is Maine. I love people and I love to talk. I tend to live my life without shoes and my favorite color is green. I am young; I have a whole life to live and a lot of things to do before it's over." It's funny how all of those things are still 100% true. I will live in Texas someday, but Maine is my first love when it comes to adventurous destinations; my favorite color has and always will be green; I'm a star-gazer and live for shooting stars. It made me smile to think that some of the big things, and even the little things, are still the same. I still have the same strange quirks, and I still have the same dreams. I'm still me - I've always been weird and awkward, and I've always been super sensitive and slightly prone to push-over-ness. I've always loved old people and singing in the shower and walking around barefoot and dancing in the rain. I've always loved to learn and take chances. I haven't always known that Jesus Christ is my Savior and that Joseph Smith was a prophet that restored the true church back to the earth. These things came later; it took a little bit of digging for me to find these things. They're not just simple concepts that you memorize for a test and forget later - these are things that have changed my life, and the way I see myself and others. I feel like I'm a new person - no, I know that I'm a new person, in so many ways - but I'm still me. Does that make sense?

Maybe not. But I feel so much comfort knowing that from the very beginning (I mean, the beginning) God knew I was going to make a whole bunch of dumb mistakes, do a lot of weird things, and hang out with people that maybe weren't the best influences. He knew I would have a ton of weaknesses (e.g. Always being late, laughing at inappropriate times, and getting occasional C's on tests, among many others) and that it would take me a while to get to know Him. He knew that after 17 years of arrogance and stupidity (but thankfully a solid 17 years of good looks), I would eventually meet  a couple of handsome missionaries, get baptized, end up at BYU, and meet a thousand incredible people along the way that would encourage and uplift me. Not just encourage and uplift, but pray for me, teach me, help me understand big concepts and little details, drive me to church activities, make dinners for my family, help me pay for college, play basketball and ultimate frisbee with me, and help my testimony to grow stronger every single day. He knew I needed them, so my little path on the Big Plan had to cross all of their paths as well. He knew that I needed help. He knew that I was lost. He knew all of it. And still he put me here, said "Go ahead," and let me just be me. Plain old me.

I don't know if all of this makes sense. But just to clarify --

I'm Michelle Christine Scott. I love wrestling with dogs, watching Spongebob, and drinking lemonade while reading a good book in the sun. I like to jump off of things and catch crawdads in relatively slow-moving streams. I am late to most things and I love to go on adventures. I have the best parents and a brother who doubles as my best friend and partner in crime. I really like to wear mid-calf socks and strongly believe in second chances. I've made it pretty far in life, and I've learned a lot. I love people, and I will treasure my friends until the world stops spinning. Right now, though, and most importantly:

I'm a missionary in the making.

Whole

I've been trying for about a week to think of something to say. I start typing and not many coherent thoughts make it out. These pictures say enough for me, though. This is just a brief preview of what's been on my mind these days.

One more thing, that has been on my heart almost constantly lately, but that I don't really have a lot to say about right now--

"And behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment:

For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.

But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour." 

Matthew 9:20-22

Strong Enough

Today, I finished the last part of my missionary physical, so I only have my dentist appointment left (which is on Tuesday), then my papers will be DONE! It's a crazy feeling, and I can't wait to just submit them and get my call. It doesn't even feel real. Sometimes, I'll be walking to class, doing homework, or trying to fall asleep, and thoughts about where I'm going completely steal my attention. I could go anywhere. Anywhere in the world. It's also just so weird that this is what my life has come to - I'm a freshman at BYU. That's still crazy enough for me. I'm two months away from finishing my freshman year, which is equally unbelievable. And, in just a few short months I'll be leaving my family for 18 months to serve the Lord and His people. What? Me, Michelle Christine Scott. I'll be doing that. You better believe it.

Today, the thing I love about myself is my laugh. It's pretty loud, and sometimes just plain annoying, but I secretly love it. When I laugh, I often apologize to the people around me because I feel like they judge it a little bit (and, let's be honest, sometimes they do). But, I'm not going to do that anymore. Because I love it's loudness. My laugh has been loud for...forever. It's just part of who I am. I like to laugh, and if you get one of my infamous loud laughs, you can bet it's 100% genuine. 

I saw this video today, and it  basically just spoke straight to my soul, so I thought that I would share it.

It's pretty inspiring for me right now with my happiness project. I found a lot of strength in President Eyring's words, and I love when he says "We have the gospel of Jesus Christ to shape and guide our lives if we choose it. We never need feel alone while we are in the Lord's service, because we never are." It's beautiful. And it's true. The gospel is true! Can I get an amen? ..."AMEN!!!"

Heart Healing

For my mission prep class, we are doing a "Happiness Project" to help us prepare for a mission by learning the skills of happiness (that's literally the assignment description on my syllabus).Over the next four weeks, we are supposed to do things every day that will potentially make us happier. I chose three things that I'm going to do for this project:

1. Become more selfless and more willing to serve.

2. Devote myself to my work and do my very best in what I do.

3. See myself as a daughter of God and learn to love myself.

That last one is really where I'm going to put my focus on this project. Each subject that I am focusing on is pretty broad, but I have lists of specific things I'll be doing for the next four weeks that will help me to get better in each of those things. It's really weird for me to say that I love myself - or that I want to, I guess. It's just kind of a weird thing. But I've been told so many times that in order to really love other people, you need to love yourself first. Those words - "I love myself" - encompass so many things. It's going to be an interesting month, that's for sure.

For #3, I decided that everyday, for the next four weeks, I'm going to write in my journal (and my blog, I think) one thing that I love about myself and why. If you didn't know, four weeks is 28 days, so that's 28 things I have to say I love about myself. That's kind of a lot.

I'm going to kick it off today by saying that I love my freckles. They're great because they're like camouflage when I have zits. They're also great because there's so many of them - so many that you might think I was a red-head, but I'm not. I've always liked my freckles because my mom has so many too, and I always wanted to grow up to look like her. Good news: I look like her, and those freckles I had when I was younger are still here :) In fact, they've multiplied. I've got plenty.

Christine

I had the sweetest experience today, but I need to preface it a little bit. Last semester, I used to go to lunch in the cafeteria by myself a few times a week, and I usually just went in, ate, and left as quickly as I could. Every day, though, this lady walked by cleaning tables and sweeping the floor. We would say hello and make small talk, and eventually we introduced ourselves to each other. Her name is Christine, and I think she may have some mental disability - it's not severe, but it's kind of noticeable when you talk to her. A lot of people with mental disabilities work in the Cannon Center during lunch, and they're all so awesome and friendly. I usually didn't talk to many people during my 17-minute lunch break, but after she was comfortable with talking to me, Christine would come over and chat with me for a while. One day she just walked right up to me and started talking to me like we were best friends - she asked me where I'm from, if I like any boys, what I like to do, and what I want to do with my life. That was the day I think we officially became friends, and every day after that she would come up to me without hesitation and tell me all about her life and how her day had been going...we talked about anything and everything. Sometimes I would be in the Cannon Center for almost an hour just chatting with her. It was one of my favorite parts of the day: eating and talking to my new friend. When I came back from winter break for second term, she had gotten a new job. Instead of cleaning up, she now works in one of the kitchens, so she doesn't get to walk around anymore. Our conversations have been shorter since she can't just hang around cleaning the tables around me - she actually has to make food and do all that fun kitchen stuff. Today, I was getting my lunch while she was on her lunch break, so we got to sit together and talk for a little while before she had to get back to work. As I was leaving, she said "Bye Michelle! I love you!" It took me a minute to process what she said, but when I realized what she had said it made me tear up a little bit as I said "I love you too!" It made my day. It's as simple as that. The smile on her face as she waved goodbye to me was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. I love that sweet lady. 

Secret Prayer

I promise that my next post will be happy and joyful and filled with good things, but that one isn't quite finished yet - it's currently in draft form. I just wanted to talk about poopy things for a minute. It won't last very long.

I miss my family...a lot. I miss Colorado, and I miss the sunshine.

I sometimes just wish that Michael was here. But then I remember he has more important things to do than hang out with me.

I don't get enough sleep, and I think it's taking a toll on me.

Sometimes, all I need is for someone to sit down with me, stare me in the face and say "How are you really, Michelle?"

I need to put a little bit more effort into all of my classes. I need those A's!

I think I'm ready for the cold to leave. I am majorly lacking in vitamin D, and especially lacking in the tanned-skin department.

I'll stop there. I do have one bit of good news that I want to share, and I think it will make up for the list of complaints. This is one of the greatest things that has happened to me in all of my years of schooling. I actually teared up out of pure joy. A few weeks ago, I turned in my first essay in my writing class. It was a personal essay, so it could be about anything we wanted it to be, related to ourselves obviously. I wrote about my experience as a nanny-turned-teacher last summer and my conversion. It's kind of hard to accurately explain without posting the whole essay, but the main point was to compare my experience as a teacher (me teaching Addison math every single day, and really struggling), and my experience as a "student" of the missionaries while I was taking the discussions. I have to admit, it's the best essay I've ever written, and I spent hours on that thing. My teacher graded them, and she wrote all of us letters about what she liked about them and what could be fixed. There were just a few things that she told me I should change, and at the end of the letter she told me that I got the high score in the class. It may not be a huge deal, since it was the first essay and probably the easiest one we'll have all semester, but it was a huge deal to me. In college, so far my academic success has been pretty mediocre and not much to talk about, really. But this is one achievement that I just can't get over! I think I've reread that essay 30 times because of how proud I am of myself. That's kind of obsessive and maybe slightly prideful...but I think I'm okay with it. 96% on my first essay of the semester... I'll take it. :) Here's a little snippet; probably my favorite part. It's the last two paragraphs, so they're out of context, but I think it still makes sense -

"I often tried to imagine how Jesus felt, standing waist-deep in the Jordan River, ready to completely turn his life over to his Father. He was perfect; he didn’t need baptism to prove his worthiness. As I stood before the font – my own personal Jordan River – I was overwhelmed with the realization that I needed this baptism. The steps that descended into the water would be a bridge from my old, beaten-down self, to a clean, transformed self whom I was desperate to meet. After waiting for so long, I finally got the dunking I was waiting for; I was completely submerged, and as I came up, I left my chains of sorrow, pain, and regret in the water, wrapped instead in the arms of mercy. I turned to my teachers, the tears in my eyes mirrored in theirs. Love naturally arises when you serve someone selflessly, with your whole heart. My faithful teachers, in their black name tags and matching ties, knew that better than anyone else; they wore the name of the world’s greatest teacher over their hearts every single day to prove it.

· · ·

For the last days of summer, we left the math book in its cupboard. We celebrated with fishing poles, tire swings, and peanut butter and jelly. During those last days, I took time to see Addison; not as my student, but as my pal that I loved. I noticed the way he held my hand across the street; an expected routine I hadn’t given much thought to before. He always trusted me to lead him safely to the other side. He reached out for my hand, and I was finally there to hold his."

So, there you go. Sometimes I can do well in school. Maybe in this case it was just because I'm pretty good at talking about myself.

Last tidbit of the evening: I'll be listening to hymns while I finish my homework tonight. And I'm going to love every minute of it.

Sea-Level

I really miss my brother. 

I don't really get homesick all that much anymore because there's so much going on here. Today, though, I started to miss my little baby brother a whole lot. I already wrote about him on here once, but I'm going to do it again, #sosueme.

I miss the days, way back when, when we would have sleepovers in his room (he had a bunk bed). We would stay up late looking at his 4-foot-tall 100-Pokemon poster, giving each other hints, playing I Spy and memorizing the numbers of each Pokemon. We have an X Box game of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and we used to take turns playing it during lunch - one of us would play while the other ate their Campbell's vegetable letter soup. In our old house, we would take all of the cushions off of every couch in the house, and gather up every single pillow from every room, and build mazes for each other. When we were little, it worked. We made some pretty sweet mazes in our maze-making days. There were 3 flights of stairs in our old house, and we would take a sleeping bag and slide-race down the stairs. My dad had this awesome orange glow-in-the-dark ball, and on special nights he would let us stay up late, turn off all of the lights in the house, and pass the ball around. I think that those were some of my very favorite nights. During the summer, my brother and I would sit on my parents bed and eat Italian ice and strawberries and watch Spongebob with our parents. In more recent years, my brother and I would spend entire Saturdays playing co-op Halo, trying to beat the whole game in one day. I don't know if we ever managed that. Once, when my brother was about to get his license, I let him drive me illegally around town, and he took me to a park that overlooks Littleton, and we ran around in the dark looking at the stars and the mountains lit up by the city lights. That was such a good night.

I can't believe how long I've been away from him. I missed his whole soccer season - his first season on varsity. I'm growing up, and he's growing up. We're both growing up. I feel like life is happening so fast. I've already been at school for a whole semester, and when I get back from the second, I'll only have a few months before I'm gone for a year and a half. It scares me to think about how different we'll be after all that time. He's my best friend, and he always will be, so I guess there's not a whole lot to worry about. I just wish I could give him a hug, and spend tomorrow eating chips and salsa, watching Sports Center, and playing Call of Duty.
I just miss him. That's all.

Sunshine

I know that it's only February 7th, but I'm getting so excited for Spring. Maybe a little bit too excited. It made it to the 30's and almost into the 40's a few times this week and last week, and I decided to take out my sandals, which I've been wearing all week. Apparently it's only 32 degrees right now, but the sun is out and it feels so nice outside. Nothing can bring me down today. I'm just happy; just really, really happy.

I also just wanted to say that I have the best friends in the whole world. I can't even explain how blessed I am. I know I'm cheesy, but in all honesty, they're some of the greatest people I know. And I get to see them every day. Every day is fun because of the people I hang out with. We don't even have to be doing anything crazy and exciting; just being with them, doing stupid things, laughing so hard it hurts...we always have fun. I wouldn't trade them or any of the hilarious, weird things we do for anything in the world.

On this beautiful, sunny day, I think I'll be listening to country. All day long. So I'll share just a taste of that beautiful music again.

Side note: I realize that this video is super cheesy and lame, but Keith Urban is my favorite. Forever. So don't judge. Also, I love playing this song when I'm driving, because I always stick my hand out the window while I drive...how adorable. :)

Comfort Food

My favorite comfort food is country music. I know that that's not food, but really. On a bad day, country music is all I need. I guess chocolate is good too.

This song is playing over and over again in my head (maybe because I've been playing it on repeat...). I think it's my new favorite. For now. Plus, I have a secret celeb-crush on my main man Kenny, so it makes it ten times better. 

I wish I could drive with my best pals in Brighton, Colorado with the windows rolled down, right now, with this song turned up all the way. 

Heart Ache #2

I'll be honest with you. Right now, I can think of only three things.

1. Getting my mission call

2. Summer

3. Leaving for my mission

With everyone getting their mission calls, I'm feeling really restless, and every time I think about it I completely lose focus (hence the reason I'm blogging about it in the library rather than studying). Also, my white, sun-deprived skin is craving some vitamin-D. I don't know how much longer I can take the snow and weather in the 20s. I'm losing my mind. I just wish I was in Texas right now. Texas or Colorado or Arizona or California or Maine or somewhere pretty and warm. Spring is almost here, which means my focus will just be completely gone.

When I was in high school, the day after we got back from winter break every year, my friend Kellie and I would start a countdown of the says left until summer. We would write the number on our hand every day and make bucket lists of things we were going to do in the summer. I didn't do it my senior year, though, because the thought of summer filled me with so many emotions I couldn't handle it. As excited as I was to graduate and be done with school, I still got nervous thinking about leaving my friends and family and all of the things I had become so comfortable with over the years. That is exactly how I feel right now: I was basically forced into facing my fears, I came to BYU and moved on from high school and those things I was so used to. Here at BYU, I've become good friends with so many people; I consider some of them the best friends I've ever had. I've come to love living in the dorms, and how simple my day-to-day life is. Everything I need is right at my finger tips, and while the food could better sometimes, there's nothing I would change about it. I can't wait to leave on my mission; I can't wait for all of my friends to leave on theirs. But I am faced again with leaving the familiar. It makes me nervous. And the thought of saying goodbye...I hate it. I will never ever ever be good at that.

Redemption

I post a lot of heavy stuff on this blog. But I think that's okay, because those are the things that matter.

I just want to talk about my dad for a minute. He's a big guy; 6'4", 230 pounds. Before he had surgery over the summer, he weighed 320 pounds. You definitely did not want to cross him. He loves hockey and has a really loud, booming voice. His favorite colors are green and purple (not like Barney -- the good kind of green, and the good kind of purple. You know?) He really likes Jonathan apples and he loves the snow. He acts like he's a really good driver, but he's not really all that great -- understand that this is where I get my road rage, and he's a lot worse. He is so Republican that it's probably unhealthy, and he likes strawberries and grilled ribs. When I was little, he called me Princess and it was my absolute favorite thing in the whole world.

When he was 19, he and his best friend were hit by a car while they were sitting on the side of the road. His friend died instantly, and my dad had to watch the whole thing. His recovery was so long and painful, it wasn't sure for a long time if he would actually be able to fully recover. Ever since then, he has been depressed and has never done anything to help it. This, coupled with the fact that his father emotionally abused him throughout his entire childhood, has made him into a hard, bitter man. He denied God for most of his life. He decided that he was more correct than any "big guy in the sky" could be, and has lived most of his life convinced that there is nothing more to this life than living and dying. He became an alcoholic at some point, and drinking has always been an issue for him, especially within the past few years. It breaks my heart, but I love him. I love him so much, and it's always been my greatest hope that he would just find a way to be happy.

About one year ago, my dad was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. After months of chemo and radiation, he had surgery (mentioned above) in the summer, and has been officially cancer-free ever since then. When he was prescribed pain medication, the doctors allowed him to get too much too often, and he became dependent on intense pain killers. I don't want to call him a drug addict, but it was getting close to that point -- his need for the medication was close to that of an addiction, and it was so strange and scary for me to see him like that. He isn't crazy, I promise. He's just a guy with a lot of pain and problems that have gone unresolved for too long. Not that it really justifies anything, but to me it almost does. He's my daddy.

Last week, he called me at a completely random time to talk. He told me very bluntly that he recently became involved in a group called Narcotics Anonymous, which is apparently similar to AA but the help is more extensive. That fact alone surprised me so much, and I teared up in the middle of the Cannon Center as I was eating with my friends. He went on to tell me that though the group is not strictly Christian, members are required to come to know a "higher power" for support in the process. It took him a long time to finally ask me what he called to ask me because of how emotional he was...My dad, the atheist  asked me over the phone if I would pray for him. When he said those words, I felt like the world stopped moving. I never imagined those words coming out of his mouth. I always hoped that they would, but I never knew what I would do if it ever happened. He told me that he had been praying too, and really trying to come to know if there is a God or not. 

The magnitude of this situation is almost indescribable. I don't know how to express the feelings of happiness I experienced in this moment. I know that my dad will find God. I have faith in him to stop drinking and using pain medications to get through his days. I know that he will be able to be happy once he realizes what really matters in this life. I can't wait for the day that I get a call, or maybe a conversation face to face, when he tells me that he knows God, and that his life has been changed because of that knowledge. I know it will happen.

I love my dad. And I love my Father.

Verb Count

I'm currently sitting in the library, trying to do my homework, but I keep getting distracted. Honestly, this happens all the time, so it's not surprising. My ADD is not really all that interesting, but today I wanted to talk about it because two words in particular keep coming to mind. Recently in my life, these two words have really started meaning a lot to me, because they come up often enough that I can't ignore it anymore. Accept and immerse. Two words that don't necessarily relate in any way, but two words that mean the world to me.

Accept. I need to get better at accepting things. Compliments, forgiveness, love. I've always had a problem with this, but over the past year and a half (interestingly, but not coincidentally, the amount of time that I've been Mormon) it's gotten a lot better. The thing I really want to accept and understand is the gift of the Savior's love and His Atonement. Sometimes I forget that there's more to the Atonement than what I think is "my end of the bargain" - the most beautiful description I've heard of this recently is that He is literally offering me His hand, and I just have to take it.  I just have to accept it.

Immerse. This one is great. I love this word. It so perfectly describes what I have to do: immerse myself in the gospel of Jesus Christ. "To immerse" is certainly not a one time thing - it's on-going and changing and developing and growing. I am here at BYU, for goodness' sake. You'd think that I would have been able to do that properly by now. But I haven't. I will though. And I know that as soon as I do, my life will change so dramatically.

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Fun facts, to prolong my homework break:

I chew a strangely large amount of gum on a daily basis.

Today, I am wearing a shirt that I was originally afraid to buy, but now I love it.

I write on my hands. And I think people think it looks ugly. But it's the only way I remember things.

I don't really like the cold. I love the snow, but I'm not a huge fan of 4 degree weather.

I am falling in love with my writing class, which I am genuinely surprised about.

Every single day, I see at least one person on campus that looks enough like someone I know from home that I have to do a double take, then remind myself that 93% of the people I know don't live in Provo, Utah.

I pretty much suck at basketball.

And, that's it!

Missionaries-to-Be

I'm taking a Mission Preparation class this semester, and I know already that this will be one of my favorite classes that I've ever taken. My teacher's name is Sister Ulrich, and she is amazing. On the first day of class, she laid out her own experience as a missionary for us. From the moment she started talking, I knew I liked her. Nothing against Mormons at all, but I feel like we often make missions out to be the greatest and most wonderful things in the whole world. And honestly, they are. I know that. But we sometimes gloss over all of the hard things. Sister Ulrich told us all of the hard, painful parts of her mission. She said it was the hardest thing she had ever done, and that there were so many days that she wondered if she could make it. She said that her testimony grew ten-fold. She said that it was the most rewarding thing she had ever done. She was so honest I could hardly handle it. It was just so interesting and amazing to hear someone talk about it so openly; emotions, hardships, doubts, everything. That day, at the end of class, she had us walk around the classroom introducing ourselves as "Sister ___" or "Elder ___". It was so foreign-feeling, to say to someone "Hi, I'm Sister Scott, and I'm a missionary." I teared up the first time I said it, because all of a sudden it felt so real. I will actually be introducing myself like that to people in a few months though, so I guess I better get used to the idea now.

In class on Monday, we did our first practice missionary discussion. It was so short, but it was one of the most powerful experiences I've had to date. We were paired up, and one person taught a really short lesson on prayer, and at the end the other person was supposed to pray. I was the praying partner, so when Hannah (my partner) was done teaching, I was supposed to tell her some things that were on my mind that I thought I wanted to pray about. It was just supposed to be a practice, but both of us took it really seriously. The spirit was so strong in that room as all of these missionaries-in-training bore their testimonies and taught their "investigators" how to pray. I felt prompted to be totally honest with Hannah, so I told her about my mom, and how I was worried about her and her testimony, and about my dad, and how I can't help but worry about him and if his cancer will come back. I told her that I hadn't decided if I was going to wait to put in my papers so I could go on the trek with my stake this summer, or just get my papers done so I can go as soon as possible. It seems like a silly dilemma, but it has just been tearing at my heart for the past few weeks. It's amazing how the Lord works, though. I hate to say this, but as prominent as all of these things are in my life right now, I haven't yet taken the time to really pray about them like I did in that hot, noisy classroom, on my knees, surrounded by future missionaries who were all humbling themselves before the Lord at the same time. I haven't felt like that in such a long time. I felt that as soon as I said "amen" I knew the answer. I think I knew the answer all along, but Heavenly Father wants us to ask so that He can answer. As funny as this problem of mine is, I know that I'm supposed to put my mission papers in as soon as I can. I received my answer in that room, as soon as I just said my simple, heartfelt prayer. As I was walking back, I called my bishop, and I'm meeting with him within the next week to start my papers. It's happening. It's real. 

Two things I know for sure:

1. I'm going to be a missionary.

2. God answers prayers. That's all there is to it.

Sunday FUNday!

Today was fun. It was also sad. If I could draw a line separating the sad and the fun, I would probably put myself about 2 inches over the line on the fun side. So, the happy overruled the sad, which is what my goal was for today.

A few highlights: 

Testimony meeting. I loved that we could be back at school for the first Fast Sunday of the year. It was so great to be back and to hear the testimonies of the wonderful people in my ward. I realized how much I missed them as I saw them this morning. (Even though about a third of the ward was actually there... #woops)

Team teaching with MJ in Relief Society. I love that girl, and I learn so much from her. I'm so thankful for her friendship and for all of the time that I get to spend with her and the rest of the presidency, as well as the entirety of our Relief Society. There are so many awesome girls on my floor, and I get to see them every day, and grow in the gospel with them every Sunday. It's amazing.

Being reunited with Cecily and Emma, and getting the trio back together. I missed that Cali girl and my Colorado BFF. It's funny how we've been apart for so long, but it feels like nothing has changed. I like that. I think that with good friends, that's how it should be.

Having my first lunch back in the Cannon Center. Not delicious, not even really good, but familiar and fun. It was even better because we played Scum afterwards, just like every Sunday after dinner. I'm so glad I was accepted into that group back in the day, because that has become one of my favorite "traditions" up here at BYU.

Walking to Tyler's sister's apartment in the cold (it wasn't too bad, I guess) to get a movie, then turning right back around and walking back. I always secretly love those trips, because first of all, it's so funny that we have to walk because we're freshmen, and second of all, it gives us time to just talk about whatever. Those are my favorite moments.

Spending the evening watching The RM, going to ward prayer and seeing Josh, visiting the Boettcher's, and playing some Uno.

Those weren't really highlights. That was pretty much my whole day. I missed my family today. And Michael. And Jacob. And Jaxon. And Jake. And Claudia. And June. But it was a great day, and I didn't really think too much about it, which was great. My heart has a huge, gaping wound in it, but it's healing. A little bit.

Last fun fact of the evening: Jessikia got baptized roughly 4 hours and 22 minutes ago. How incredible is that? The church is true!

"This is it."

When Emma, Jake and I went to Moab, we ran into a cute old couple from London while we were hiking and stopped to talk to them for a while. We talked about all sorts of things, but the one thing that the woman said that I will never forget (she had just been talking about how Moab was just one stop on a long list of places they'd be visiting in America for their vacation) is "This isn't practice, this is it." She was talking about how this life is all we have; we don't get a do-over if we don't like the way we did it the first time. It really made me think. I like the way she said it too. "This is it." This is the real deal.

-----------------------------

I got to say my goodbyes to my neighbor June, the missionaries, and Jessikia today. I won't go into all of the mushy details because I've been doing that a lot lately. I do want to say, though, that Jessikia is amazing. She invited her sister to come to the meeting tonight, and she (her name is Amanda) came with so much innocence and desire to learn about the church and her Heavenly Father. She has had a hard life, and she wants to change it; she wants to make things right and better for her and her two kids. The spirit was so strong while we were in that room in that beautiful church. She kept saying that she felt so good, that it felt right to be there with the missionaries. One thing that Jessikia said I will never forget... "I remember when I felt that the first time. That feeling...I knew I never wanted to be without it. That's when I decided I was going to keep it with me." It perfectly describes any person's conversion - whether you were born into the church or joined later in life. You realize that the truth you've learned is it - your searching is over, because it's all right in front of you. This is it.

After the lesson, Amanda said the closing prayer. These are the moments that I can't wait to experience when I'm on my mission - hearing someone say their first prayer, and asking God with all of their heart to help them to know whether the message is true. It brings tears to my eyes every time. It reminds me of how innocent we are when we pray; we're just children asking our Father for help. I love it. It's the most incredible thing. I wish more than anything that I could be here for Jessikia's baptism on Sunday...it breaks my heart that I fell in love with her and her story, just to leave right before it really begins. And Amanda! I'm going to miss out on seeing as she grows in the gospel with her sister. There's a place I need to be, though. I need to keep growing, too.

I've been really into posting pictures lately, so I'm going to keep the trend going. This beautiful woman that I've come to love so much, who is simultaneously one of my best friends and like my grandmother. I learn so much from her and always leave her with a smile on my face.  We can talk for hours about literally anything. We've talked about everything from her husband to boys I like, from my dream job to her life-long career as a nurse; people we love, fond memories and sad memories, God and all of the mysteries that come with knowing Him. She has the world's biggest heart. I can't believe I'm saying goodbye to her again. But, I know that this woman knows what love really is, and that won't change over the next four and a half months. 

Lessons I Learned As a 19-Year-Old

I really only learned one lesson today. It wasn't really a lesson, and I already knew about it, so I didn't really learn it either. 

Regardless, I am just not good at saying goodbye. Goodbye is a dumb word, and it has too many meanings to really count. You could say goodbye as a final thought - "Goodbye, I never want to see you again." You could say goodbye when you drop someone off at their house, but knowing it's not permanent - "Goodbye, I'll see you tomorrow." You say goodbye when you hang up the phone, but that's just because you're not with them and you can't talk to them once you hang up - "Goodbye, I'll talk to you soon." We say goodbye all the time, but I don't know how often we consider what it means. Maybe you're not really supposed to give it a second thought. Maybe the more thought you put into it, the harder it is to actually say it. Maybe only really weird people actually think about it in this much detail.

The good news is, most of my goodbyes up until now have been open-ended. I haven't been the jerk that says "Goodbye, I never want to see you again." Instead, mine are always "Goodbye, come back as soon as possible."

A glimpse of my second-to-last day in beautiful Colorado spent with one of my greatest friends:

Sitting outside of the cutest little sandwich shop in the beautiful, sunny Colorado weather, talking about life and laughing about awkward moments and funny crushes and our favorite memories from the past 4 months. 

Driving through Brighton, which is officially my favorite town. Driving down roads that go on forever, through the rolling plains, with the mountains there in the not-so-far-off distance. It's like living in a painting of the most beautiful picture I have in my head. (Wow, cheesy. #sorrynotsorry)

Talking to one of my other greatest friends all the way in Arizona. I love how we can talk and it seems like we're all together even though we're so far away.

Ending the night with a random meeting that I served exactly 0 purpose in, having dinner and laughing some more about awkwardness and embarrassing moments, and saying that open-ended goodbye. What a farewell that was. It's a great thing when saying goodbye is actually that difficult. I love that we had the chance to do that; to say goodbye, then to spend time talking about why that goodbye was as difficult as it was. I don't want to talk about it anymore, because honestly... open-ended or not, it sucks.

But I can be happy, too! LOOK I'M HAPPY :) Especially because I got pictures with the cute Johnson kiddos. Minus Jacob and Brother and Sister Johnson. I'm going to look back fondly upon all of these days I talk about so often. There will be tears, for sure. But for the last time, this is just a see-you-later. No permanence with this one. See ya in two, Michael.

Ringing in the New Year

How do you even "ring" something in? That's what I want to know.

I spent New Years Eve with Taylor, Michael, and Jacob and their friends at a Mormon dance. There is so much awkwardness that exists at those dances, but we managed to have a great time. I haven't really decided what I want to say about the fact that it's already 2013, but here are some random, briefly described highlights of 2012:

- Getting accepted into BYU. This was one of the greatest days of my life. I cried and told everyone I knew.

- Celebrating my first "Mormonversary" :)

- Graduating from high school! I had so much fun at graduation. I was one of the nerds that couldn't stop smiling.  In all the pictures that my parents took of me I just have this huge, goofy smile on my face. It was such a cool experience, watching Mr. Booth hand all of my classmates their diplomas, and seeing the stands in the stadium completely packed with people. (I can tell you they were never that full for our lacrosse games...) It didn't feel real until it actually happened. And I was so excited when it finally did.

- Making varsity lacrosse. I have to say, that season was the worst lacrosse season of my whole life. I sometimes wanted to quit, or punch my coach in the face, or both. But I did love playing in the stadium, especially under the lights. I loved playing at a higher level and seeing how much better I had gotten over the years. I loved the feeling I had after finishing a super hard work out. I loved our spring break "heck week" - our team got so close during those horrible work outs. I loved the warm-up music before games. I loved, LOVED hearing my name announced before games.."number 77, Michelle Scott." :)

- Graduating from Seminary. I loved how much they celebrated the seniors and our accomplishments, not just in seminary but in our lives. I love Mormons.

- Watching my dad beat cancer. It was a long, painful process for everyone, but nothing can describe the happiness that came with hearing the news that it was gone. It may not be gone forever, but it is right now, and that's what matters right now.

- My summer job. There were a lot of days that I hated it, but I just adore those kids. I honestly think of them as my children, which might be creepy, but I just love them so much. I've spent somewhere close to 990 hours of my life with them, so we've gotten to know each other pretty well. I've learned so much about myself and life and the world and how to raise children. We had fun...fishing in lakes and ponds and rivers and streams, hiking all over Colorado, making sand cities for crawdads, helping Addi with his math homework, taking day trips to Castle Rock to go swimming at the coolest pool in Colorado, getting ice cream cones at McDonald's and playing "Sexy and I Know it" over and over and over again, driving out to Red Rocks and Lair o' the Bear to watch Andrew run with the cross country team, watching Regular Show and laughing at how stupid it is (but secretly loving it), going to 7 Eleven and getting slurpees, teaching them how to play lacrosse, walking through creeks and streams of all kinds, going to Andrew's and Alex's baseball games...it was a good summer with those kiddos. I don't know how many of them I have left, but it's the best job I could have ever asked for.

- My first semester at BYU. This is pretty much all I talk about, so I won't go into all of the details again. But those 4 months were the best of my life up until this point. All of the people I met and the memories I made are irreplaceable. From playing intramural soccer and watching the women's soccer team (they were almost as good as I was) to obsessively watching The Walking Dead outside at one in the morning, I had so much fun. Everyday was fun. I'm a nerd, but I love being a freshman. I love BYU, and I love that I love it.

- Going to General Conference for the first time! That weekend was so full of great, happy things. I got to go to two sessions of conference and it was incredible. That weekend, I stayed in a hotel with Mary, Emma, and Shelby in Salt Lake; I got to hang out with Taylor and go shopping at City Creek mall; we went out to dinner at some foreign, delicious restaurant; I got to see one of my greatest friends and ex-missionary and hang out with him in Temple Square; Taylor and I saw her sister, who's serving her mission in Temple Sqaure...all of those things added to the greatness of the weekend, but it just didn't compare to being in the conference center with the prophet and hearing all of those men and women talk. The spirit was so strong. I will never forget that experience.

- Finishing the Lazy Iron Man with Michael and Tyler. It's not the most strenuous workout program in the world, but I was so proud that we finished it! 26 miles running, 112 miles biking, and 2.4 miles swimming in one month. I'd say that's pretty darn impressive. And we got cool t shirts :)

- My cousin/best friend Allison getting engaged to her cute fiance Jake! They're so adorable, and I am so happy for them. When she called me and told me, I screamed and cried and the people on my floor thought I was psychotic.

- Passing all of my classes! Getting good grades in my classes (for the most part) and on my finals. It felt good to finish and feel like I worked hard.

- Getting my first calling and spending time getting to know the girls on my hall. I loved Relief Society, and looked forward to that the most every Sunday. It was so cool to see firsthand how the church is set up and to see how it worked with a whole bunch of 19-year olds in control.

- Having Tyler stay in Colorado in the beginning of winter break, and being able to hang out with my favorite friends in my favorite place. It was so much fun. I still can't believe we actually pulled it off! We talked about it kind of as a joke in the beginning, but then Tyler's parents said he could drive home with Michael. That was such a fun drive home, too. You know you like people when you can sit in a car for 8 hours with them and not get sick of them. 

And other little things...

- Senior Prom with all of my best friends.

- Getting a 4 on my AP Calc test. I tried so hard on that thing! It's not a 5, but it was good enough for me.

- Spending a weekend with my old friends, The McVeighs in Ogden during the semester.

- Spraining my ankle. NOT.

- Long-boarding with Emma and Aaron and Austin in a parking garage and getting chased by police. That was one of the most hilarious nights of my semester. I will never forget the adrenaline and the crazed look on Emma's face when we realized that we were literally being chased. Hiding in the bushes, strategically planning our escape...so funny.

- The night Taylor slept over in mine and Emma's room...illegally. We forgot to tell our RA she was staying over, so technically that was 100% against the rules. But it was still fun, and totally worth it.

- The night that Emma, Cecily, Jake and I watched the movie "Lol" with Miley Cyrus. We watched so many movies together, but that one was one of my favorites.

- Seeing my little cousins over the summer, who I hadn't seen in about 3 years. 

- Seeing Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw in concert with Taylor.

- Going to Cheeseman canyon three times during the summer. Laugh at the name if you must, but that is the most beautiful place in the world, I'm convinced. It's about an hour and a half drive, but I fell in love with it and dragged people with me to hike it as many times as I could. I caught 3 lizards in one day once there. And climbed in some super awesome caves. It's my own little Colorado adventure land.

- Watching my brother's soccer games via Skype. It was sad that I was so far away, but I loved being able to see that little stud playing varsity.

- Coming home for Thanksgiving and seeing my family for the first time in 3 months. That was such a happy reunion.

- Playing Scum in the library, in the cannon center, in our dorm room, in the basement, in the music practice rooms, in Taylor lobby...anywhere and everywhere, really.

I love memories, and I talk about them often. I could talk about 2012 for a while; it's been a really great year. But at the beginning of a new year, you're supposed to be excited for what lies ahead. This year holds so much. Starting with second semester of my freshman year, and eventually ending while I'm serving a mission. I can't even imagine what lies ahead. To kick it off, Taylor and I drove out to Daniel's Park to watch the first sunset of 2013. It was so great to go on a random, spur-of-the-moment adventure like we always did. I'm so excited for this year! #bringiton2013

A few pictures, just because I love sunsets and Taylor:

#strugglin'

Fun fact: I'm about to cry in this picture, because at this
point my hands were so cold that I couldn't feel my fingers.
#itwas12degrees #Taylorworegloves