Wrapping Up; Moving On

I can't really comprehend how simultaneously quickly and slowly life moves sometimes. It feels like this weekend flew by, but I feel like so much happened. Especially today - I can't believe that just this morning I was still in Ogden, and attending church with the McVeighs, many miles away from my lovely 117th Ward, whom I missed dearly. I can't believe that I just spent 3 and a half hours watching The Walking Dead. I can't believe I have to go to school tomorrow, because my weekend is already over. It's funny how time works.

I wanted to briefly reflect on my experience at church this morning. I honestly and truly have nothing negative to say about it - I enjoyed every second of it. I didn't go into it thinking that I wouldn't have fun, but I just wondered if I would feel the same way there that I do at my own church, because that feeling is one that I value so much, and look forward to every week. But, alas! I felt it. The spirit resides where God resides. I believe the spirit was there this morning, and that made me so happy; it truthfully made me feel silly for thinking that it might not have been. I miss that "free" sort of worship. As much as I love my hymns, there is something special and unique about feeling the spirit through the music in such a different way. I loved being about to rock out to some of my old favorites.

Benjer taught the lesson in Sunday school, and I truly felt as though I was an awkward 9th grader again, sitting in class at Holy Apostles Church in Englewood, Colorado. It felt like nothing had changed. Benjer used to get our attention by saying "God is good!" and in response we'd say "All the time!" Then he'd switch it and say, "All time," and we'd say "God is good." It was a fancy little way for him to get our attention. I always loved it. And when he did it today, my reaction came so naturally that it honestly brought tears to my eyes, thinking about how much I had missed that. I want to talk more about what I learned this weekend, but I really need to go to bed. It's 1:30, and I still need to read my scriptures for half an hour before I go to bed! Just another late night for me. Story to be continued tomorrow.

A Little Bit of Reminiscing

Right this very moment, I am sitting at the same polished, wooden table I've sat at so many times. Same chairs, same slightly scarred surface. The only real difference is that this table has been relocated - rather than sitting in an apartment in Denver, Colorado, this table is now housed by a beautiful little home in Ogden, Utah. Quite the journey if you ask me.

I love visiting old friends, and seeing how so many things are the same and so many things are different about people when a few years separate the last time you truly sat down and talked to each other. Life is funny that way. Our perspective changes when we realize how much time has passed; how much life we've lived. It's funny to think that at the end of every year, we look back and think, "How did time go by so fast?" when every Monday morning we thought "I can't wait until Friday."

I have the opportunity this weekend to spend time with my dear friends, The McVeighs. They were kind enough to invite me over to stay with them for the weekend. Let me just say, these are some of the kindest people I have ever known. Not only do they live their lives in the service of God, but they live their lives in the service of people. Both Benjer and Jennifer are extremely involved in their church - Benjer is a youth pastor and Jennifer teaches Bible study. This is so great, to see them so happy and involved, but it's definitely bittersweet for me. We went to church together once upon a time, and Benjer was the youth pastor of my youth group. I miss those times, and I miss Benjer and Jennifer, but I treasure all of the things that they did for me and the rest of those kids. Whether they knew it then or not, they completely transformed our youth and showed us a way of having a relationship with God that we had never known before. It was difficult - membership in that church - and a lot of people walked away deeply hurt from their experience there. It wasn't perfect. But I loved that youth group, and I loved those people like they were my family. Back then, they were my family. As much as I miss that place, I know that everything that has happened between then and now was always supposed to happen. The experience I had there was necessary for me in my life, for me to be able to learn and grow. The great, fun, and old cliche "Everything happens for a reason" is entirely true, and I believe that with my whole heart.

It's wonderful to be here with the McVeighs, to see their beautiful daughters and spend time with such a wonderful family. This weekend came at just the right time; I needed some sort of escape, even if just for a few days. College is wonderful; Provo is wonderful; Mormons are wonderful; but sometimes, you just need to take a step back and enjoy life, really enjoy life, and the simple joys it has to offer. I let my own stress and worries get in the way of the other stuff sometimes. But here, I feel like I can take it easy. I'm also learning a lot here, and I can't wait to bring these things back with me. I can always learn something here. I can always learn something everywhere. How wonderful and true is that?

Run, Forrest, RUN!

I have two experiences that I would like to document this evening.

I'll start with the less important one, so we can end this post on a high note. I ran six miles tonight! I haven't gone that far in quite some time. It took me a painfully large amount of time to finally get into my "runner's high," but it happened eventually. That is a feeling that I rarely get - I think it really only happens after you run  for 40 minutes, or something like that. Weird people get those all the time. Eventually, I just sort of become numb. I don't know if that's a good thing or not...but, it is what it is. I ran around a stupid circle 24 times. I do not usually like running on tracks, but lately I've found the repetition sort of endearing. It was mindless - all I thought about was getting to the end of that next lap. I like being able to think about nothing sometimes. Give the ol' brain a break.

Okay, this is the important thing I wanted to talk about. I had a very unique experience. Maybe unique is not the right word, because this happens with people a lot, I'm sure. Maybe interesting; special. It was special to me. I need to preface this better though...bear with me.

Before I came to school, I was given a surrogate-father's-blessing from my good friend Mark Sabey. In the blessing, it says the following: "Embrace those in need of friends. Continue to embrace the best of these. You will have tender experiences." This is one part of that blessing that really stood out to me, because even on the first day that I was here, this part of my blessing was true in a very real way. But, last night I had one of these "tender experiences."

Emma and I were just about to go to the homecoming dance, and we were all decked out in our 80's/90's/something like that attire. My friend Jane, who is also a convert, called me just as we were about to walk out the door, and asked if I would come over and talk to her for a bit. I could tell that she was upset, so I said a quick prayer that we would be able to have a good conversation, and that I could comfort her in whatever she was struggling with. To make a long story short, she just explained to me that she has been having a really hard time. Her parents are even less supportive than mine (well, my dad) of her joining the church and coming to BYU, and she was just looking for someone who could actually understand what that was like. I thankfully don't have it that bad anymore - my mom is almost entirely supportive, and while my dad is not necessarily supportive of the decisions I've made, he isn't nearly as mean about it as he was before. We talked for about two hours, so I missed the entire dance. The interesting thing was that I wasn't really all that sad about it. I know that Heavenly Father kept me and Emma from getting ready to go any sooner, because I would have already been gone by the time Jane would have called me. I know that I was meant to become her friend so that we could have this bond that has formed between us. I feel so blessed that I am able to have tender experiences like these. I'm so thankful for the example that Jane is to me, and to everyone who meets her. She is so strong, and I'm amazed at her courage in coming to school here and wanting to go on a mission with such a feeble support system. I love BYU. I love the people here.

And that's really all I have to say tonight.

(EXCEPT, I have one more thing....I played hide and seek in the HFAC with my ward tonight. It was super duper awesome. And that's really actually all I have to say tonight.)

"I hope they call me on a mission..."

Last Saturday, to open the first session of General Conference, President Thomas S. Monson announced that the age at which young men and women can serve missions has been dropped from 19 to 18 for young men, and from 21 to 19 for young women. The news came as such a surprise - no one besides the members of the First Presidency of the church knew this was going to happen. I feel like this is one of the greatest revelations the Prophet of the church has ever received. In my mind, it proves to us that God trusts us enough to send us out at such a young age, and that there is obviously a great need for missionaries - whatever that means. I can't explain the happiness that overwhelmed me when he announced that! I just want to share a quick story about that.

Earlier in the week, my good friend Tanner Palmer told me that he had written down questions in preparation for General Conference. I thought that was so great, so I decided to do the same thing, and really think about things that were on my heart and questions that I wanted answered. The night before conference, I prayed that I would be able to receive an answer to these questions and that the spirit would help me to understand the answers I received. I wrote one of the questions I had like this: 

"Marriage and family - creating a family, getting married, girls - mission?, raising a family in the gospel, waiting to find the right husband, how to know when it's right to get married"

Another, I just wrote "missionary work."

Now, these aren't questions in the normal sense, they're more just ideas that I was hoping would be addressed. 

I've been wondering for a long time if I am meant to serve a mission. Ever since I was baptized, it was all I wanted to do. I want to go to school, and I want to get married, but I always felt like going on a mission was the most important thing I could do right now, but I couldn't do it right now - I would have to wait until I was twenty-one. In my Patriarchal Blessing, it says that I will "be called to teach the Gospel." This could mean any number of things, but I remember at the time that I received the blessing, and every time I read it, I feel as though that means that I will be called to serve a mission. With the age lowered, I can't think of what else it could possibly mean. This is my chance; I have to do it! I talked to my bishop, Bishop Tanner, from home the other day, and we decided that I will put my papers in sometime in January or February, and set my availability date for sometime after winter semester. I can't even put into words how excited I am! It makes me nervous, but I know that it's right. 

Tonight, two boys in my ward, Michael and Jacob Johnson (they're twins), received their mission calls, and I just had to record it, because I had never seen twins open their calls at the same time! While being here at BYU, I have seen a few people open their mission calls, and every time I'm embarrassed because I cry like a little baby. This is the video - it's so amazing and awesome and every other good adjective. I love these boys, and I'm going to miss them when they're gone, but I am so excited for them! I'm a little bit jealous too, but my time will come.

Long time, No blog

It has been way too long since the last time that I blogged. It's really sad. I've promised myself that I will be re-living some of my recent experiences and writing about them so that they can reside here forever.

Today was such a great day. It's fall, and since Utah is similar in beauty to Colorado, I was feeling extra blessed walking by all of the red and yellow trees, crunching the dry leaves that had already fallen, and basking in the warm, autumn sunshine.

Classes were good today, and I went with my friend Hope with our ward to the Homecoming opening ceremony today. It was really fun, even though it was slightly cheesy. I was just happy that I didn't miss it. I was really bummed that I missed homecoming at my high school this year, which I felt really lame about because college kids are supposed to be over high school. Let me just say, homecoming at BYU is about to crush homecoming at Arapahoe High School.

I had a nice conversation today after class with Jordan Christensen, who served a few months of his mission in my ward. I've run into him a few times now, and it's always so funny to see him as a normal person, without his missionary tag. He is so funny though, I love talking to him.

I was desperately searching for a friend to Hike/Light the Y with me tonight, but I couldn't find anyone who wanted to go. Lighting the Y is a tradition during homecoming week here, and I love hiking and traditions so I certainly didn't want to miss it. My friend Hope and I, again, journeyed up to the trail head with a bunch of other people in big vans, which sounds kind of strange, but it really wasn't. Our van was full of awesome people. The hike itself was great - we held a tarantula, talked about life, and helped light the Y! It was so great. I think Hope and I are going to be great friends. It was nice to get away from the stresses of life and hike and chat for a while. It was probably the most perfect, clear, beautiful night to do such a thing.

I feel so incredibly blessed to go to such a prestigious university. Prestigious is not meant to sound cocky or self-righteous; I am just proud to go to a school that holds its students to such a high standard. BYU is so fun and beautiful because of that standard. My math teacher talked about General Conference talks yesterday; the girls on my floor talk obsessively about serving missions and their availability dates, now that the age has changed. Boys respect girls, and girls wear modest clothing that makes them look truly beautiful. I love this place. As much as I sometimes miss home, I love where I am, and I couldn't think of a better place for me to be right now.

I'm still riding on the happiness of seeing one of my best friends this weekend. Taylor Florene Gannon (pictured above). I miss this girl, and it just made me so darn happy to see her again. I can tell already that this week is going to be a Happy Week.