Monday, May 28, 2012

Meeting the Stegman's

I had a very interesting experience today. I was able to meet my dad's best friends' parents. The sad thing is that my dad's best friend, Dan, died when he and my dad were only 19 years old. They were sitting in lawn chairs on the side of the road in front of my dad's house when they were hit by a car -- Dan was hit first and ended up under the car, and died instantly. My dad was hit and the impact sent him flying, and he ended up skidding on the street on his back for about 60 feet. My dad had countless bones broken, and had to re-learn how to walk and move some parts of his body.
Even 30 years later, the pain is very real and very prominent in my dad's life. He gets choked up whenever he talks about Dan, and my brother Daniel is his namesake, of course my father's request. He visits the Stegmans every now and then, and always tells us that he wants us to meet them. Today he finally took all of us - me, my mom, and my brother - over to meet them. Karen and Dean Stegman; Keaner and Deaner, as my dad calls them. I wasn't necessarily nervous to meet them, I just didn't know what to expect. I honestly didn't really want to spend a lot of time talking about sad things, as selfish as that sounds, and sort of thought that sad things might come up in conversation. To see the hearts of all the people around me breaking as they tell stories and remember their son and friend is not my most favorite thing in this world. Instead, though (thankfully), we talked about happy things -- our lives and their lives, grandchildren, distant relatives, dreams, school, future careers, funny moments and fond memories. They told us stories about their kids, and talked a lot about their only living son (out of four :( truly heartbreaking...) and all of the things going on in his life. They asked me and my brother questions about what we like to do, what we want to do, and things we want to do with our lives. Karen's brother became Mormon when he was 17, so his whole family now is Mormon and live all over Utah. Her nephew is a professor at BYU, so she told me to find him so that I could "have a little piece of family" with me in Utah. I have to tell you, I honestly fell in love with these people. I have never seen or talked to such sweet, loving people. I was so thankful that my dad took us over there today. I was so happy that I was able to meet them, become friends with them, share stories with them, and feel at the end as though they really could be a part of my family. I miss them already; I didn't want to leave. I wish so much that I would have been able to meet them sooner, so that I could have spent more time with them. My time now is so limited, and it makes me so sad. There are people that come into your life and bless it so much -- Keaner and Deaner are those people. I am in love with them, and can't wait to see them again.

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I found this picture on Pinterest, and it reminds me of the Stegman's house. There's something special - "homey" - about houses that were built in the 60's. I love them, just not as much as I love the Stegmans. :)

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Hello, Old Friend


It really feels like it's been forever since summer last came around. I've been out of school for two weeks now, but last night was the first night that really felt like summer was here again. My Mormon buds and I went to the dance out at the Cannery (a huge, multi-stake, outdoor dance) and just had a blast. There are sometimes when I feel awkward at dances, but not last night. I just had a good time, and didn't really care about what people thought about my awesome dance moves. After the dance, Taylor and I met up with a few people at the 7 Eleven by David Lorenz fields (turf fields on the top of a landfill), and instead of getting slurpees like we originally planned, we went into the fields that were closed off by a locked fence and ran around, looked at the stars, and screamed "YOLO" at the tops of our lungs. As lame and 7th-grader-esque as that sounds, it was so much fun, and it just embodied the things that summer should be. Hanging out and doing stupid (just not too stupid) things with your friends. I will mark that as my first Grand Summer Experience, and eagerly await my next grand adventure -- which will of course be documented.

Let the games begin.

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Friday, May 25, 2012

Grand Total: 27

Yes, 27. Twenty-seven. The rough estimate of how many times I threw up yesterday. Isn't that lovely? I haven't had a stomach virus for years, then all of a sudden, BOOM, I'm bent over the bathtub puking my brains out. One of the little children that I babysit is completely to blame -- he was throwing up on Monday night, and I started nannying on Tuesday. There is no doubt in my mind that the little booger gave whatever he had to me. Revenge stinks, little dude...

Okay, don't worry, I won't be seeking out revenge on a 9 year old. I just hate being sick. I have eaten 18 Saltines and had one glass of Gatorade all day. I've been laying in the same spot for 9 hours. I pretty much slept the day away, and when I wasn't sleeping I was watching TV or trying my hardest to be asleep. I wasted today because I was sick. I absolutely hate that. But, at this rate I'll be mostly healed by tomorrow, which is all that really matters. I'm ready to just be done with this. Though, I guess I don't know a whole lot of people who can say they've puked 27 times in a day...there's a brighter side to everything.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Heartache

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The hardest and weirdest part about going to college is saying goodbye to people that I love. I have never been good at saying goodbyes. It's something that, thankfully, I haven't really had to do a whole lot in my life, but it still just never gets easier for me. Thinking positively though, most of my goodbyes are just "See you laters," since I'm only leaving temporarily for now. Provo is only a quick 9 hour drive away, and a very short plane ride. I'm excited to leave and be on my own and go have a freakin' blast at BYU, I just wish I could skip the hard part.

There's one person that I really just don't want to think about saying goodbye to. It will be one of the harder ones, after my family of course. This summer, I have a goal to establish some sort of relationship with this person, even if it's just letting him know that I like him, and maybe holding his hand once or twice. Is that really so much to ask? Can't guys just catch the hints that we so carefully lay out? I feel like I'll basically have to scream in his face "HEY I LIKE YOU" for him to finally notice. Maybe that's how I'll tell him. Good plan.

Regardless, this is something that needs to be done ASAP. I can't go off to college knowing I never told this kid how I really feel. My goodbye would be even more painful -- it wouldn't just be a "See you later, I've had a nice time hanging out with you," it would be a "See you later, I was secretly in love with you but was just too lame to ever tell you." I don't want to be that person. I will not be that person.

So, to sum it all up:
1. "Goodbye" is my least favorite word
2. I have a cute little crush on a cute kid
3. I have to tell him, so that my goodbye sucks less

TIME FOR BED! I need at least 8 hours of sleep tonight. Peace, bretheren.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Way Back When

I just saw a picture on facebook, and this is what it said:
"My curfew was the streetlights, and my mom didn't call my cell phone, she yelled 'Time to come in!' I played outside with my friends, not online. If I didn't eat what my mom made, I didn't eat. Handsanitizer didn't exist, but you could get your mouth washed out with soap. I rode a bike without a helmet, and getting dirty was okay. I drank water out of the garden hose and survived."

This just made me super nostalgic. I had the best childhood. Let me just reminisce for a short while.
My brother, my two neighbors, Jordan and Jalin, and I used to hang out all the time. Back then, Pokemon cards were the coolest things a could have, and we would spend hours trading them and pretending that we knew how to "really play" with them. We built these incredible forts out of chairs, stools, and blankets. They were so awesome -- you could climb up on to multiple stories of these forts. The tallest one we ever made was 3 stories tall. How freakin' awesome is that? Extremely dangerous probably, but we didn't even care. My neighbors had a big inflateable pool that was about 4 feet deep, and we used to spend hours in that thing. Looking back, it's kind of gross, but whatever. We had sleepovers, and watched movies like Beetle Juice and Jack Frost, but even back then I couldn't stay awake through an entire movie, so to this day I don't know how Beetle Juice ends. Our backyard was bordered by big bushes and trees, and we would go on major adventures through the "woods" and act like we were hunters in the jungle. Our downstairs back patio was just big enough to play roller hockey, but we split playing time equally on the patio and their driveway, which was flatter than ours. Me and my brother used left-handed sticks, and Jordan and Jalin used right-handed. Lefty kids are better, no doubt :) Jordan and I used to hang out with her older sister, Amber, and listen to Brittney Spears and Destiny's child and all of those super talented people. Amber thought she was a really great dancer (compared to me, I suppose she was), so she always taught us really weird dances and told us the "right way" to kiss and talk to boys. My dad had a huge stereo system in the lower level of our house in the TV room, and whenever there was an Avs or a Bruins game on, he would wear his hockey jerseys and blast music from the speakers so loudly that we could hear it from just about anywhere on our end of the cul-de-sac. There was a little section between our front yards that Ron (their dad) had built to be a little shared garden for our families. It wasn't super big, but it was big enough. We had a giant, and I mean giant, pine tree in our front yard, and it was the best place to hide during hide-and-go-seek because you could climb up to the perfect spot or hide in the branches where it was almost impossible to be seen. When I first learned how to ride my bike, I practiced in the backyard. I would ride down the hill, go all the way around the swing set, and ride back up to the top of the hill. I did this so many times, and was so used to it, that I thought I should try it on the driveway -- on my very first time down, I ran right into the mail box and cut open my right arm and leg. Another awesome bike accident happened when I was trying to impress Jalin's friend Hayden. I was riding my bike barefoot and with my eyes closed. I took a sharp turn accidently, right in the middle of our cul-de-sac, and face planted. I got the worst boody nose, had rocks up my nose for a few days, and my front tooth fell out about a week later (after turning blue). We had a can crusher in our garage, and I would try to finish my soda (a rare treat) as fast as possible so that I could crush it. We used to think that the house on the end of the street was haunted, and made up all sorts of stories about how we saw ghosts and how people had died inside. When Jordan and I got in fights, we would ride our bikes around the street for hours, singing songs to each other about how much the other had hurt our feelings. Our favorite thing was when huge flocks of geese flew over our houses when we were outside -- I can still remember a few times when there were so many geese that you couldn't even see the sky. For some reason, that was just the coolest thing. Story Time: Amber had a pet guinea pig (I forget it's name), and they loved to bring it outside to let it run around. One day they were letting it run from between one person's legs, across the yard, to another person. They let me try, and I was sitting right in front of a huge bush. For some reason, when it was running at me, I got really scared, so I rolled out of the way, and the guinea pig ran right into the bush. We looked for that thing for so long, for days, and it was all my fault that it was even in there in the first place. Eventually, they gave up the search, and I felt so horrible knowing that I was the reason the guinea pig was certainly dead in that bush. But, alas! A few months, MONTHS, later, they found the guinea pig, and it was alive. Is that crazy or what? Every year at Halloween, my dad wore this huge scary old man mask (it still creeps me out), and one year a little girl got so scared that she literally peed on our front porch. It was awesome. I begged my mom to paint my room baby blue, and she finally let me. I hung these really awesome lights up around my room and was convinced that my room was what made me cool. I had about a thousand beenie babies, and would spend hours on end playing with them. Sometimes, I made them fight each other in giant beenie baby wars. I used to be terrified of spiders, and whenever I left my basement, I ran up the stairs because I thought that a giant daddy long leg was chasing me. When my brother was about 6 years old, he put a blanket on the light fixture in his room because "he was cold and wanted to warm up his blanket." It caught fire and almost burned our whole house down. I used to sleep in my brother's room because he had a bunk bed, so in the summers sometimes we'd have sleepovers. I was sleeping on the top bunk once and threw up over the side, right onto my brother, who was sleeping soundly below. Once during the summer, we had two foxes try to make a nest in our backyard. I loved seeing them from the kitchen window, but I was secretly afraid of them. When I was about 6 years old, maybe 5, we had a huge family reunion party in our backyard. There were more than 50 people there, and though I don't remember everything about it, I remember it as one of the greatest days of my life. During one of the big snow storms that tend to happen during Colorado winters, a bunch of snow collected on one part of the roof, and when it finally fell off, it shook the ground. Side note: after it snowed, I thought my backyard was the most beautiful place on earth. I called it my own Winter Wonderland. My brother and I had an awesome Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets video game, and we would take turns eating lunch and trying to beat each level. We had a Black Widow's nest in our upstairs porch once. I used to tell people that we found out about the nest one day when my mom saw a Black Widow crawling up my leg...that was a lie. Another Story Time: One time, I caught a grasshopper, and made it my pet. I honestly thought of it as my friend, but most importantly it was my pet. I would break up Pringles into tiny little pieces, and hold the grasshopper in my fingers and feed it the Pringles and pieces of grass. His home was a box with holes in the lid and lots of grass on the bottom. I truly loved him, though I don't remember what I named him. The day he died was a very sad day for me, and I remember blaming the cloudy day on the fact that my best friend had just died. There was a pumpkin patch hidden in the backyard, but we only grew pumpkins in it a few times. There was also a little garden next to the brick staircase that we used to grow raspberries and strawberries. Homegrown is always better.

I feel better now that I got to share all of that. Reminiscing is one of my favorite things to do; I feel like it's healthy to think about your past sometimes. Good and bad times. It's one of my goals in life to write a memoir for my family. I might as well start now.

Crossing the Finish Line

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Just 4 short days ago, I graduated from high school. It honestly still doesn't even seem real. It seems like just yesterday I was in Algebra II, and hanging out at Starbucks drinking Chai tea (pre-Mormon era, of course), going to my first arena scheduling session and dreading CSAP week because I still had to take the tests. I think of my awkward, freshman self and laugh out loud. Not in a critical way -- it's an "oh how cute" kind of laugh. There were so many days that I spent wishing that I could be older, be an upper-classman, move farther from middle school and closer to college. I suppose I got my wish: middle school now seems like it was ages ago, and college is 3 short months away.
All those years passed by so quickly; I just can't get over it. Part of me is sad about it, but that part is pretty small. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I think I'm ready for the Y. No, I'm definitely ready. I just hate saying goodbye, and I dread the day when I have to say goodbye to my friends who are going to different schools, who I may never see again. I already said some of those goodbyes without realizing it; the last week of school, Fun in the Sun day, graduation. Some of those people are no longer in my life. Crazy. But a lot of my goodbyes are really just "see you laters," so that makes it easier.
I'm a cheesey person, so I'm fine with saying the following: My journey is just beginning. I'm leaving home and starting on the path that will eventually lead me to the rest of my life. I'm ready. Let's do this.

BUT, before I do leave, I have a solid 3 months of babysitting 3 crazy boys ahead of me. Starting tomorrow. 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. One more challenge to conquer before getting to Utah...just kidding. It will be fun. Expect lots and lots of pictures and stories about these kids.

Until next time...enjoy this song. I sure do.