Lessons I Learned As a 19-Year-Old

I really only learned one lesson today. It wasn't really a lesson, and I already knew about it, so I didn't really learn it either. 

Regardless, I am just not good at saying goodbye. Goodbye is a dumb word, and it has too many meanings to really count. You could say goodbye as a final thought - "Goodbye, I never want to see you again." You could say goodbye when you drop someone off at their house, but knowing it's not permanent - "Goodbye, I'll see you tomorrow." You say goodbye when you hang up the phone, but that's just because you're not with them and you can't talk to them once you hang up - "Goodbye, I'll talk to you soon." We say goodbye all the time, but I don't know how often we consider what it means. Maybe you're not really supposed to give it a second thought. Maybe the more thought you put into it, the harder it is to actually say it. Maybe only really weird people actually think about it in this much detail.

The good news is, most of my goodbyes up until now have been open-ended. I haven't been the jerk that says "Goodbye, I never want to see you again." Instead, mine are always "Goodbye, come back as soon as possible."

A glimpse of my second-to-last day in beautiful Colorado spent with one of my greatest friends:

Sitting outside of the cutest little sandwich shop in the beautiful, sunny Colorado weather, talking about life and laughing about awkward moments and funny crushes and our favorite memories from the past 4 months. 

Driving through Brighton, which is officially my favorite town. Driving down roads that go on forever, through the rolling plains, with the mountains there in the not-so-far-off distance. It's like living in a painting of the most beautiful picture I have in my head. (Wow, cheesy. #sorrynotsorry)

Talking to one of my other greatest friends all the way in Arizona. I love how we can talk and it seems like we're all together even though we're so far away.

Ending the night with a random meeting that I served exactly 0 purpose in, having dinner and laughing some more about awkwardness and embarrassing moments, and saying that open-ended goodbye. What a farewell that was. It's a great thing when saying goodbye is actually that difficult. I love that we had the chance to do that; to say goodbye, then to spend time talking about why that goodbye was as difficult as it was. I don't want to talk about it anymore, because honestly... open-ended or not, it sucks.

But I can be happy, too! LOOK I'M HAPPY :) Especially because I got pictures with the cute Johnson kiddos. Minus Jacob and Brother and Sister Johnson. I'm going to look back fondly upon all of these days I talk about so often. There will be tears, for sure. But for the last time, this is just a see-you-later. No permanence with this one. See ya in two, Michael.