"This is it."

When Emma, Jake and I went to Moab, we ran into a cute old couple from London while we were hiking and stopped to talk to them for a while. We talked about all sorts of things, but the one thing that the woman said that I will never forget (she had just been talking about how Moab was just one stop on a long list of places they'd be visiting in America for their vacation) is "This isn't practice, this is it." She was talking about how this life is all we have; we don't get a do-over if we don't like the way we did it the first time. It really made me think. I like the way she said it too. "This is it." This is the real deal.

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I got to say my goodbyes to my neighbor June, the missionaries, and Jessikia today. I won't go into all of the mushy details because I've been doing that a lot lately. I do want to say, though, that Jessikia is amazing. She invited her sister to come to the meeting tonight, and she (her name is Amanda) came with so much innocence and desire to learn about the church and her Heavenly Father. She has had a hard life, and she wants to change it; she wants to make things right and better for her and her two kids. The spirit was so strong while we were in that room in that beautiful church. She kept saying that she felt so good, that it felt right to be there with the missionaries. One thing that Jessikia said I will never forget... "I remember when I felt that the first time. That feeling...I knew I never wanted to be without it. That's when I decided I was going to keep it with me." It perfectly describes any person's conversion - whether you were born into the church or joined later in life. You realize that the truth you've learned is it - your searching is over, because it's all right in front of you. This is it.

After the lesson, Amanda said the closing prayer. These are the moments that I can't wait to experience when I'm on my mission - hearing someone say their first prayer, and asking God with all of their heart to help them to know whether the message is true. It brings tears to my eyes every time. It reminds me of how innocent we are when we pray; we're just children asking our Father for help. I love it. It's the most incredible thing. I wish more than anything that I could be here for Jessikia's baptism on Sunday...it breaks my heart that I fell in love with her and her story, just to leave right before it really begins. And Amanda! I'm going to miss out on seeing as she grows in the gospel with her sister. There's a place I need to be, though. I need to keep growing, too.

I've been really into posting pictures lately, so I'm going to keep the trend going. This beautiful woman that I've come to love so much, who is simultaneously one of my best friends and like my grandmother. I learn so much from her and always leave her with a smile on my face.  We can talk for hours about literally anything. We've talked about everything from her husband to boys I like, from my dream job to her life-long career as a nurse; people we love, fond memories and sad memories, God and all of the mysteries that come with knowing Him. She has the world's biggest heart. I can't believe I'm saying goodbye to her again. But, I know that this woman knows what love really is, and that won't change over the next four and a half months.